A tiny bit speechless…you may think that impossible

Yesterday and today brought about 2 things I didn’t think would happen. Personal things that don’t need the details shared. Suffice it to say I have thinking to do. And they have left me partially speechless for a few reasons. I don’t want to over-talk and stop things from moving forward, I also need to decide what I want to move forward with and what I want to let go. Relationships, people. That is what I am talking about. I just don’t want to say more than that.
I spent a good amount of time at the gym, working off the build up of adrenaline that came from excitement, confusion, realization. It was a leg day. Leg workouts make me feel damn strong. Literally like I can lift the world and all it’s weight. Squats are fabulous for that. That is a good thing for me, I need to feel like I have the power physically to deal with things.
What I don’t like is leaving the gym feeling like I could have done one more set of each, added another 10lbs to the last set, hit it just a little harder, faster. But, when I step out of the car to get gas on my way home and feel like jelly I know I did a good job and smile. It’s hard to walk on ice with jelly legs.
I also spent most of the morning on the tractor blowing snow off the driveway and side yard to the horses. It was sunny and a balmy 25 degrees out with little wind so it wasn’t so miserable. It is actually pleasant with my earphones in listening to music, logically looking at it as a puzzle; how can I do it the most efficient way possible? The fewest passes, the best direction to blow the snow so I don’t have to move it a second time, or even worse, have to shovel it too. Overall a good day even if my head was filled with thoughts of emotions and decisions.
It was a good food day too. FYI
The kids bought me a hand blender for my birthday (did I already mention that in another post?) and it is fantastic for my gritty, blech protein shake powder. I take it like a shot, gulp that shit down. There is better stuff out there, I know. I will get it after I use all this up.
If the gym were closer I would go again tonight. Good thing tomorrow morning is a session with the trainer.
No, I am not crazy or addicted, I put on half a pound since last Wednesday and dealt with the scale just fine today so I am proud I can go, do the work and see the results. I like hard work. I like hard physical work. I like being a strong woman that can hold her own with men. I like knowing my way around cars, and tools, and chainsaws, and appliances, and generally anything a man knows his way around. But I also like that I am a woman, a sexy, strong, eye catching woman that knows how to laugh and smile.
I also like that I can be morbid & unorthodox in my humor, a bit crass, snort when I laugh, cuss like a sailor, direct in my speech, and somewhat confrontational.
Huh, guess I am not so speechless after all.

No surprise there.

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2 responses to “A tiny bit speechless…you may think that impossible

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