… I love my Droid.
I can post anything from anywhere. Like now, I am in the bathtub trying to wind down both physically and emotionally from a shitty few hours.
I overheard a conversation about me that was upsetting. I was raised to be independent. I was also raised to be in a patriarchal marriage and family where you love and respect the man in the family, the head of the household. So to overhear 2 people that love me the most talk about me using terms like, “lived her whole life depending on others” and “this time it’s come around to bite her”, was umm… really crappy.
At the age of 18 I got my EMT license. Then I worked as a firefighter/EMT for a few seasons, going to school, volunteering and working retail in the off season. I decided that wasn’t the career path I wanted to follow so I decided to try for medical school. That is when I met my husband, moved 400 miles away and started our family.
We decided that after I had our 3rd child under 3 years old it didn’t make sense for me to go back to work to pay someone else to raise our kids. It was tough, on me, financially, emotionally, but it was worth it. In the last 5 years I hesitated going back to work even though all the kids were in school. I gave up my career and couldn’t go back to it without schooling and a lot of hard work, too much time. Financially we knew I was going to have to work so last spring I got my full time job with the school district as a substitute Instructional Aide. I loved it. I was good at it, never would have left if we didn’t lose our housing and I ended up in Idaho with no work available.
I don’t want to be here. I think I give off that vibe a little too much for Idahoans. I want a life our own, me and the kids, successful in what I choose.
I think working at a hotel is good experience for very little pay. I am working hard to get on with another company that will give me more hours but benefits as well.
I have been too dependent for too long. That is true. But I also used those years to focus on my family. Not just my kids. Now we are starting a new chapter in life and while I am a little lost I won’t be told I can’t do it.
… I love my Droid.