And, Here We Are

So the last month has been interesting.

We got evicted, couldn’t find somewhere in the Santa Barbara area to relocate to so we had to make a hard & pretty sucky decision. The kids and I will live with my parents in St. Anthony, Idaho through the summer then move back to California, exactly where is kind of up in the air.

The boys school let them out on an Independent Study program so we didn’t have to transfer schools for 3 weeks. That rocks.

Sadie is staying with her best friends family until the end of the school year, then I will drive down and pick her up. Taking a few stops on my way to check out different jobs and living situations. And to visit my brother in Turlock, CA. I haven’t seen them in way too long.

I am so grateful to have parents that will take all 4 of us in. Oh & the dog. The unconditional love & understanding my parents have for us (all their kids & grandkids really) is pretty amazing. I am blessed to be surrounded by friends and family that will do just about anything to make sure my kids & I are safe and taken care of.

I keep thanking people here for all they have done for me and my kids, now it’s time to do it again.  I am loved. I am cared for. I have been blessed with people in my life that not only are my friends but truly understand me, know me for who I am and love me anyways. My faults, my imperfections, my issues (and believe me, I have some doozies of issues).
I don’t like asking for help. I hate it actually. It usually has to be forced on me, that’s a fault too and I know it. I don’t like relying on others for things that I feel I should be providing for myself & my kids. In the last year or so there has been a lot more reliance than I would like.  It all came to a head in November & has since slid downhill fast.

How can I express just how important certain people are to me? I can say thank you over & over but those are just words. It’s time for me to step out and take action to change the things in my life that have caused the circumstances I am in.  No doubt I am strong, I can take on just about anything. Now it’s time to act and move forward, showing through my actions just how much I appreciate and love those that help me constantly.
The strength that I have derived from others in the last month, the last 2 weeks especially, has been a real gift. I know God has blessed me with strength and  specific people at specific times in my life. Now is one of those times.  I look forward to the future, for the first time in weeks I don’t feel dread. Today is a good day. There are things I want for my kids and they will have them. There are things I want for myself and I will have them.
If you know me at all you know that once I say those words, the stubborn comes out and I will fight for it. I like me some good competition, even if it is with myself and my own life ;o)

And, there you have it.

We are here in Idaho until August some time.  We have plans for lots of fun stuff, Yellowstone is just an hour and a half away. Horses are in the backyard for our riding pleasure. Sand dunes 15 minutes away. My sister Stacy and her kids 10 minutes away, Christi and her kids are just 4 hours away.  Huge Sedgwick family reunion at the end of June. Tickets from Trevor’s class as a goodbye to the Lava Hot Springs Waterpark. It is going to be one hell of an adventurous summer. I have the next couple of weeks to unwind, unpack, settle in, get the boys independent school studies done, then Sadie comes and we get the party started!

I miss her. A lot. Her laughing keeps me going some days. The constant “Mommy, I love you. Mommy, I love you. Mommy….I love you!”  Who wouldn’t miss that?!?!  Thank God for texting, chatting & phone calls. 4 weeks, I can do it. I just need her here with me.

So, here are a few pictures of the house, my room. Mom set my bedroom up with a sitting area so I have somewhere to escape to if I need it, she thinks of everything & knows me so well.
(psst, that empty table to the right in the picture is my computer table now, just so you all can picture me there ;o))

I solemnly swear to post more often, more knitting, more fun pictures, all of it.
Maybe not so much sappy stuff though.

OH!! And a big, fat, frickin THANK YOU to Tracy the rockstar for teaching my last class I had on the schedule at Knit & Pearl. That was awesome and took a load off. Of course, she is constantly taking the load off my shoulders, she’s a good wife. ;o)

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4 responses to “And, Here We Are

  1. PS I am done being sad. Life is too short to spend it with regrets and being sad. I will deal with the occasional crappy spirits but the sad is done.

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  2. Good, sad is done. Love that!!

    So glad I was able to take that class on! Lovely group of women. It was fun!

    Love you. 🙂

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  3. Great post! It does sound like a fantastic summer awaits you all, and hopefully one with less stress for you! I can imagine a few months of relaxation and family time will be good for you all. I’m looking forward to seeing your photos and news of your activities!

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