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Ah, Now I See

For many, many years my friends have warned me I CANNOT watch any of the hoarding shows on TV. Every once in a great while I stop on one as I click past. Tonight I actually watched an entire episode of Hoarding: Buried Alive. 

And wow. 

WOW.

The sadness that comes with living, if you can call it living, in an environment like that. 
It is amazing how obvious it is to me that it’s a way to keep people away from you, the hoarder.
I feel their pain, their anxiety, that comes with the control issues that are being physically manifested in their homes. 
I don’t judge them, I deal with my own very real control issues. It makes me want to clean out & get rid of every little thing that I can. And since we lost every thing we owned 2 years ago there isn’t much for me to go through. 
Josh brought a lot of belongings to the marriage but he was willing to give up his control and at least let me organize it in a way that pleased both of us. That was a huge worry for me, marrying someone that leans towards collecting things (mostly electronic/ computer bits & pieces). But we’ve done very well compromising. I pat us on the back for that!

I just want to go in & help but having worked as an organizer/ cleaner/ hauler I know how difficult it is for hoarders to see their problem & hand over the control.

I disappeared there for about an hour…reorganized and downsized the bathroom shelves & small cupboard. And scrubbed the toilet. And deep cleaned the kitchen sink, it’s got a paste on soaking for a bit before I go to bed. 

And that’s what happens when I watch hoarders. And I feel guilty for not vacuuming, sweeping & mopping today.
I will lay in bed thinking of all the things that could be done…I WILL NOT be watching hoarding shows any longer.

Lesson learned.